villagelogs | 065-071 » assign to oblivion / part iii

065-071 » assign to oblivion / part iii

WHO: Everyone
WHERE: Mathias Township proper
WHEN: Days 065-071
WHAT: The residents of Mathias reunite under unnerving conditions.
WARNINGS: (PM this account to have a warning added!)
NOTES: Plotting post over here!

RECOMMENDED ♫ Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross "Outside"

DAY 065-071
ASSIGN TO OBLIVION
“No matter how much time passes, no matter what takes
place in the interim, there are some things we can never
assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away.”
— Haruki Murakami

Only two days have passed since the town was fractured, leaving residents cut off from those they'd come to know and even care for. A mere two days of wandering the new streets, uncovering more secrets that continue to make little sense of this strange place. Two days with sunrises, sunsets, and nights that seem like any other.

And yet.

When residents wake on this third day, they will find that much has changed. All around them, wherever they may be, there are signs that time has passed without them. Dust covers everything, indoors and out, even areas that were spotlessly clean seemingly hours ago. The residents themselves are covered as well, dust clinging to their hair, skin, and clothing—

Clothing that they may not have been wearing when they went to sleep. Each resident, regardless of the state they were in previously, is now clad in a pair of white pajamas, with long pants and button-up shirts. Those who thoroughly explored Baneberry Hall will easily recognize these articles as identical to those well-stocked in the decaying great house. On top of this, the clothes they wore from home have disappeared, along with anything else they may have brought with them when they arrived or items from home that have been found within the borders of Mathias.

There is no sign that anyone has entered their place of shelter, nor is there any sign of what may have been done with these items or how they came to be wearing these clothes. The dust all around them is undisturbed, almost as if they had been sleeping there for quite some time, though it seems impossible for such a thing to have occurred naturally.

THE NEW ARRIVALS
The newest arrivals to Mathias will wake up on the lawn of Town Hall, at the center of the little town square. They, too, are bereft of any items from home and clothed in the identical white pajamas. There are shops all around them, with houses just beyond, and at first glance, everything seems almost picturesque. Except for the silence that is at times so complete as to be maddening... Welcome to Mathias.

SUMMERTIME
— When summer arrives, so too does an outdoor stand in front of the General Store. Sporting a handpainted sign proclaiming Whateley Farm, the stand is overflowing with a variety of produce: berries, plums, carrots, cabbage, cucumbers, green beans, leeks, onions, peppers, potatoes, zucchini, tomatoes, and garlic bulbs. These do not replace the produce offerings normally found inside the market, but they do behave strangely. The stand replenishes sporadically, sometimes every other day or every five days. There is no discernible pattern to when it replenishes, nor is there any sign of how it came to be there at all.

— With the now-complete reverse change of season, much of the autumn debris has cleared from around town. Only a few stray leaves and fallen branches remain, their crisp colors at odds with the warm summer days. The forest has also cleared of much of the fall detritus, making it easier to both follow the paths and potentially spy things that might be out of the ordinary.

CONDITIONS UPDATE
— THE WEATHER Summer has arrived in Mathias, bringing with it warm days that average 70°F and comfortably cool nights. The skies are clear throughout the week save for Day 68 when a light rain falls from a grey sky throughout the day.

— THE FOG has maintained its new boundaries.
— Residents may now wander the southern stretch of the forest surrounding Mathias Township — it is possible to leave the paths but potentially unwise to do so.
— The fog has also retreated from the western section of town entirely.
— Access to the northern section of the forest is still blocked beginning a few dozen yards past the treeline; this section of fog will urge residents to stay huddled within the town proper by inducing a physical reaction of panic and fear.

— DISAPPEARANCES AND DEATHS continue! Max Guevara and Liz Brundy have disappeared, and now that everyone is back together, residents will notice that Yennefer, Number Five, and Tony Stark have also vanished.

— ALCOHOL supplies have run dry, save for any dregs that have been squirreled away by individual residents. Moonshine can still be acquired by those in desperate need.

OOC NOTES
— UPDATES Don't forget to report updates as they come up! Changes to locations (like toppling a few bookshelves in the library), big plots you have coming up that will affect the game (parties, major property destruction, etc), or exciting discoveries that may tie into the game's mythology (even the things provided by the mod) are very helpful to have in one place so relevant page updates can be made. IC events are also helpful to know about in advance so they can be included in the log write-ups.

— MOD STATUS My non-RP life is busy and chaotic and I continue to ask for your forgiveness and understanding as game things continue to be slower, as I cannot promise timely mod responses beyond weekends and even that is not wholly guaranteed.

— ITEMS FROM HOME All items from home that characters would normally possess have vanished for this log and will return in the next. This includes clothing and possessions they had when they arrived in Mathias, items that were found in the rain, and items that were found in Baneberry Hall and removed from the property. Items from home that were left behind by other characters no longer in the game have also vanished. (All other items and clothing still remain, it is only items from characters' homes that have disappeared.)

— BANEBERRY ITEMS The items from home that were not removed from Baneberry Hall in the last log have vanished from the property. These items will not reappear in the next log. (Please be sure to comment in the appropriate spot on those logs about the state of your character's item for inventory purposes, ie whether they were removed from the property or left behind.)

— ACTIVITY CHECK Beginning with June's AC (posted at the start of July), all tags that consist of only dialogue will count as 0.5 points, not just those that occur in an inbox thread — this applies to both AC and AP totals. This adjustment is an extension of what has been in place since the start of the game: that all dialogue-only inbox tags counted for a half-point. Since such tags have occurred regularly in log threads as well, the half-point status is simply being extended to all tags regardless of location in order to be fairer in point distribution. (Examples will be provided in the AC post to assist with proper counting.)

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"He does," Raylan granted with a nod and half a glance up. "But I.. Don't know how he feels about all of it. He acknowledges that I love you. He knows about Henry. We haven't spoken on any of it. He knew before.. everything."

He hated Malcolm for it. The jealousy of it all. The hate Raylan hoped he could dissuade by ensuring the sniper that it wasn't some personal affront. He hadn't meant to collect Tim up and love him but once he knew that so much was hung on him.. He couldn't help it. There was no way to put that into words. No way he could accept that he was just supposed to watch Tim abuse himself because he felt somehow unworthy or something.

How could he even begin to articulate that nuance.

Malcolm nodded, taking another little bite of pie.

"He guessed about us by the second time I spoke to him."

You're fucking.

"Last time I talked to him.... it was a little bit better."

It still wasn't great and Tim didn't seem to understand that isolating himself was a bad survival technique for himself and for the group.

"But he still doesn't want to know us, Raylan."

"I know," he whispered with another bob of his head as he set the sandwich down. "I don't know why and he hasn't said as much to me but.." He thought validating what Tim was feeling and arguing against the misconceptions that had little in base to do with Malcolm himself was the kinder thing to do.

It had gotten and then stayed outta hand.

"I don't have an answer for that Malcolm."

“I don’t want… I don’t want a situation where you’re somehow… caught between us. The safety of our… community is important and if he doesn’t want to be part of it… that’s kinda too bad. He’s in it,” Malcolm said.

I think it's too late for that.

"I don't know if he agrees with that." I also most him too and I don't understand why. "Either he'd already planned on goin' or my bein' honest with you drove him but.. He's gonna be spending time at the lighthouse."

If he stayed there, it felt like a full rejection of Raylan. A punishment.

Malcolm leaned forward.

“What?” he asked, tilting his head like he must have misheard. “We went through all this and he’s leaving?”

The question felt like a slap.

"I dunno what he's doin'. Only that he's gonna be spendin' time up there." And only that he didn't want Tim to. Nothing good had ever happened up there. Tim had never gone there for anything good. And nothing had changed but the sniper was suddenly in the hills.

"Probably needs a few days."

"He needs a few days," Malcolm echoed with his eyebrows high in disbelief. He held up his hands. Raylan didn't need more of a beating; their conversation had been draining on them both. "Listen." Malcolm said, setting his pie aside to get up and step around Raylan's chair, wrapping his arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing his temple to Raylan's cheek. "It's going to be okay. Everything is just... highly charged right now. Everyone will calm down. It'll be okay."

Raylan kept his eyes in his lap, feeling small and useless for everything he didn't know. For everything he was sure he had at least half a handle on a few hours ago. He felt lost and alone for it. He was supposed to be the guy with answers.

He tried to keep it together as Malcolm got up and walked around but something in his face crumpled helplessly as the New Yorker wrapped himself around his shoulders. Raylan needed a hug. After a long second, he reached up with one hand to wrap it around Malcolm's wrist and squeezed.

"I hope that turns out to be the case. Doesn't much feel like it right now." It felt like he'd ruined everything by trusting Neal, by doing the Right Thing, even if it was too late, by.. changing. But talking was half of what got him into this. And now he'd been reminded of why he didn't do that shit.

Neal's reaction is what he would have gotten at home anyway. A lesson in of itself.

Malcolm tsked gently in his ear.

“I’m still here,” he pointed out softly. “When you didn’t want to tell me about this, what were you afraid would happen if you did?”

"You are," Raylan said with a little sad, heartsick huff of a breath. Malcolm was the only one that was still here. Henry was off doing whatever Henry did and Tim was.. Probably still at home right now, but for how long?

"This was about the worst case scenario. Only way it got worse is if you left. I-.. I wanted to try and give you and Tim time to.. talk or.. find a common ground. Maybe not be friends, that's.. askin' too much but.." He wanted them time to be friendly. That way maybe it wouldn't hurt as much. That way maybe they could.. exist nearby each other without the world imploding. Okay, maybe that was a tad dramatic.

"That's all. It wasn't even to hide or.. spare any feelings, I just.." He shook his head, brow furrowing again. It hadn't worked. He had tried and it just blew up in his face.

Malcolm pressed a kiss to his cheekbone.

"Raylan, it's going to be okay. We are existing near each other. No punches have been thrown. Except for the one he threw at you."

Then why did it feel so broken? He was sure it would look... like something in the morning. He hated feeling this hopeless but he'd scarified everything and tonight, he'd be alone with no idea of what he had when he woke up in the morning.

All he could do was close his eyes and take a deep breath and hope that Malcolm was right.

"You should eat. Or at least have a bite in front of me to console me." Something something eat your feelings. His stomach, freshly baited, was now ready for more. And food was less painful than thinking about the crushing, blame filled silence that was going to be his company for the night.

Malcolm couldn’t help a small smile Raylan would probably feel more than see. He pressed a kiss to his neck just below his ear before letting go, but that was not going to be Raylan’s last hug tonight.

“I’ll eat some more,” he said, sliding back into his chair, picking up his fork. He watched Raylan for a moment. “…Do you really still want to take me dancing?” he asked with sudden earnestness.

You don't deserve him. It wasn't some self deprecation or attempt at humility, it was fact. But he was grateful. Grateful that Malcolm was kind enough to understand, even if he didn't have the full picture, grateful that Malcolm was sweet enough to at least forgive him his trespasses.

The kiss on his neck made him feel better and left the ghost of a smile on his lips. Raylan picked up his own sandwich as Malcolm settled, turning it this way and that as he looked for the best next bite.

The question had him looking up, features going soft as he smiled a little more genuinely.

"I do. If all this hasn't ruined it. The whole picnic inside, the whole shebang. We all need a few days and Neal-." Well Neal was a whole different bag of cats that they had to deal with. "But we'll figure it out. Do it later once we're not all.. high strung?"

“If all this ruined it, I wouldn’t be here right now,” Malcolm told him reasonably. He took a bite of pie. “I meant it when I said I didn’t want to lose you. Whatever happens, I don’t want that.”

He might need to be told a few more times for it to sink in.

"It's strange to know that you're tellin' the truth. To. Be able to trust it. But if.." He huffed a breath as he finished clearing his mouth. "If you don't leave me after this, I don't really gotta worry about you leavin' me up in the blue, do I."

Malcolm’s expression creased with emotion.

“No,” he confirmed. “Never.”

Maybe sometimes he would still feel like the third fiddle outlier that didn’t really belong in this arrangement, but he’d chosen to stay. He wasn’t going to leave over something less important.

“Just…” he managed a bit of an almost smile. “Save me a bit of the space beside you.”

That expression made Raylan reach over with his foot and tuck it against Malcolm's.

"At least 40%," he promised with a pull of his smile. The rest of the sandwich was tucked away into his mouth neatly and it's wrapper balled up into his fist and dropped onto the table. "Thank you for brinin' me dinner. My stomach and my liver agree that maybe I overlooked that particular bit of self care today."

It was nerves and he knew it.

“I love you,” Malcolm said earnestly, pressing his leg against Raylan’s ankle. “Lots of things are fragile, but… not that. We take care of each other.” He smiled faintly. “You started it. That day in the lighthouse… I was going to let myself fall,” he confessed.

Raylan smiled, the first of it's kind today that felt like it had any business doing there. I love you were some powerful words and after all they'd been through today and so far, the fact that Malcolm was still willing to say that to him wasn't lost. It was everything.

"No way in hell that's gonna happen on my watch," he assured with a lift of his eyebrows. "Even if you had wanted it to. I didn't start it, that's just the way it is." Smiling softly, he tapped hips foot against Malcolm's. "That'd be the way it was, even if I didn't love you. Which I do."

Malcolm smiled back and took another bite of pie before poking at it with his fork and studying Raylan for a moment.

“Are you sure you won’t come home tonight? Doc’s night doesn’t mean no Raylan. We know there’s room for three of us,” he pointed out.

Humming in response with a faint downpull of his lips, Raylan shook his head. "Not till Neal's okay with it. I can't be in a place where I'm gonna make things worse by existin'."

He'd already lived in a house where he didn't know if he was going to get a slap or half a beating for walking around a corner and into a room. As a grown man, he wasn't willing to do it again.

Malcolm nods, though he’s clearly not happy. He leans forward earnestly.

“But you know I want you there, right? You understand I want you there?”

"I do," he assured softly, head leaning forwards in his own earnest answer. "I do. I don't know what I did to earn such a blessing or if I did anything at all-" He waved that off, it wasn't important and he'd fallen off the path. "I know you want me there. And I want to be there. I just can't go around Neal like that. Not on that kinda ultimatum, it was.. more than just about me talkin' to you. It's not as simple as just that."

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