villagelogs | 063-064 » no matter how much / part ii (group A)

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063-064 » no matter how much / part ii (group A)

WHO: Group A members only.
WHERE: Mathias Township proper
WHEN: Days 063-064
WHAT: Matthias becomes a little larger and a little smaller at the same time.
WARNINGS: (PM this account to have a warning added!)
NOTES: Plotting post over here!

RECOMMENDED ♫ DEADLY AVENGER "Raiju"

DAY 063-064
NO MATTER HOW MUCH
“No matter how much suffering you went through,
you never wanted to let go of those memories.”
— Haruki Murakami
At first, in the calm following the storm, nothing seems amiss. When the residents awake, it is to another glorious morning dawning in the unsettling paradise that is Mathias Township. Indeed, it does seem rather glorious that morning, for there is sunshine in a blue sky that has been cleared of any remnant of the angry storm clouds from the day before. But before long, residents will start to notice signs of something being not quite right.

It should be a familiar sensation to most by now.

It begins as just a feeling, a strange hint of something in the air, a nagging voice at the back of the mind. They can't quite put their finger on it but there is something. Something wrong, something that shouldn't be — which is quite a statement in a town where everything shouldn't be. But then the pieces will begin to come together.

A person has gone who ought to be there. This in itself is not a strange occurrence, for many have vanished and then returned, or not. This time, though, it is one person, and then two and three... A dozen people or more have gone, with no trace of their whereabouts to be found.

No resident is alone, thankfully. There are others who also remain: friends, acquaintances, strangers. Others who are just as trapped in this nightmarish place.

As the hours stretch on and residents begin to venture beyond their self-claimed shelters and move about the town, they will find that their fellow captives are not the only things that have vanished. The Chasm is gone as well, the crack in the earth that once stretched across and cut off the western part of town. There is not even the smallest mark to show where it had once been; it has gone so completely that some might wonder if they had merely imagined it.

ABOUT THE NEW LOCATIONS
POPPY COTTAGE This bed and breakfast has a sense of casual elegance with the elusive quality of being both sophisticated and comfortable at the same time. Aside from being covered in dust and grime, of course.

PENHEW HOUSE Perhaps familiar to some in Mathias, this grand house is different from any of the others the residents have entered. It looks... new. Fresh. Clean. The usual thick layers of dust and grime that would be caked onto every visible surface are nowhere in sight; this absence may be a relief for some and unsettling to others. There are certainly other unsettling things to be found in this location.

THE OLD CHURCH Barely more than ruins, the property is marked by a crumbled stone outline that has no roof and only partial walls, nothing left inside besides a broken cobblestone floor.

BANEBERRY HALL From the outside, Baneberry Hall seems like your average rich person's house, but one would be mistaken to assume anything of the sort. Even the baneberries that cover the back lawn leading to the forest treeline are deceptive, for they appear harmless but are fatal to any human foolish enough to eat them.

The building is decaying from within. The rooms have begun to rot, from the parlors and libraries still done up in grand and expensive style to the bedrooms that have locks on the doors and bars on the windows. There are restraints in some of those bedrooms, while others are bereft of sharp objects. In the hall closets, there are identical sets of white pajamas of all sizes, and the offices have locked cabinets (that may be picked) full of a rainbow of sedatives (that will not replenish). The names on doors and in logbook lists are all smudged beyond legibility, and all paperwork has been water-damaged and weathered, leaving no indication of who may have been kept in those bedrooms or why. But within each room, there is an item that may be familiar to one of the residents now wandering its halls. As caked in dust and grime as anything else, each item is placed as if it belongs there, as if it might have been there for years. But it couldn't have been... could it?

ABOUT THE ITEMS FROM HOME
Within the unsettling walls of Baneberry Hall, residents may find OBJECTS that are uncomfortably familiar to them. Each item has one singular memory attached to it that, when touched in any way, will be experienced first hand, as if the person receiving it had lived it themselves. This person will endure all of the associated emotions and psychological reactions to the memory that the memory's owner experienced.

— Items may only be found within Baneberry Hall. These items from home are not all in one room or a specific location but instead are scattered throughout the bedrooms. (Only the items on this list are available to this group.)

— Ownership and possession of the item are important elements to this event. While the item is in possession of someone who is not its owner, it will continue to infect all who touch it with the memory that belonged to its owner. The item will also, before long, begin to make the possessor ill, both physically and emotionally uncomfortable and upset. This only occurs until the item is reunited with its owner, or until it is no longer in someone else's possession. (For example, if Person A finds Person B's teddy bear and carries it with them, they will continue to experience the bear's associated memory until they no longer have it in their possession, whether this means they have left it somewhere or it has been returned to Person B.)

— Recipients of memories will retain those memories even after the event has ended.

— When the owner of an item finds their item or has it returned to them, they will also experience the memory once themselves, having it returned to them as if they had just lived those moments again. The memory is only replayed once in their minds and then the memory effect of the object is gone. After this point, the item can be held by the owner or any others without consequence.

— If a person removes an item from its room in Baneberry Hall but does not remove the item from the property entirely, the item will be mysteriously returned to its original location when no one is looking. This is so that people do not have to keep close track of where items are going in the possible changing of hands, so the original owners can still easily locate the item without having to plan in great detail. Once an item is removed from the property, it will not return to its original location even if it is discarded by the possessor before reaching its original owner. Instances such as this should be planned among all involved parties, including the owner of the item.

— Once an item is removed from the property, please comment below so that information may be updated. Items that are not removed by the end of the event may reappear at a later time, so accurate records are essential.

— Before an item's memory is viewed by someone other than the owner, permission must be granted or requested for that memory to be viewed by another character. Because the experience is an uncomfortable one for the other characters, the viewing of memories not their own should ideally be kept to a small number.

CONDITIONS UPDATE

— THE WEATHER conditions remain fairly typical for early fall: warm days and cool nights. It feels almost like spring arriving except that there fewer red and orange leaves on the ground and more of them oddly returning to the trees and slowly fading to green. It's like watching one of those nature documentaries that have a timelapse of the seasons, only it's going in reverse.

— THE FOG has new boundaries.
— Residents may now wander the southern stretch of the forest surrounding Mathias Township — it is possible to leave the paths but potentially unwise to do so.
— The fog has also retreated from the western section of town entirely.
— Access to the northern section of the forest is still blocked beginning a few dozen yards past the treeline; this section of fog will urge residents to stay huddled within the town proper by inducing a physical reaction of panic and fear.

— DISAPPEARANCES AND DEATHS continue! Yennefer, Number Five, and Tony Stark have vanished and Ellie is still missing, though this may be difficult to tell with half the town also seemingly having vanished. Will Graham's body may be found within the ruins of the Old Church; he appears to have been frightened to death. (If someone decides to take care of the body, please report it below. For in-game reasons, this does not need to be coordinated across groups.)

— ALCOHOL supplies have run dry, save for any dregs that have been squirreled away by individual residents. Moonshine can still be acquired by those in desperate need.

OOC NOTES

— NEW MAP Thanks so much to Scy for yet another amazing new map of Mathias!

— UPDATES Don't forget to report updates as they come up! Changes to locations (like toppling a few bookshelves in the library), big plots you have coming up that will affect the game (parties, major property destruction, etc), or exciting discoveries that may tie into the game's mythology (even the things provided by the mod) are very helpful to have in one place so relevant page updates can be made. IC events are also helpful to know about in advance so they can be included in the log write-ups.

— MOD STATUS For those who don't know, I run a summer program that is set to start in just 2 weeks. We've only recently been given the green light to go ahead in person, so it's a scramble to get everything pulled together in time. My non-RP life is going to be busy and chaotic for the next while and I am thus asking for your forgiveness and understanding as things continue to be slow, as I cannot guarantee timely mod responses beyond weekends, and even that is not guaranteed.

— NEXT LOG Because of the aforementioned real-life chaos, the next log will be more relaxed and free form with everyone coming back together again and having a few chill days. It would be very much appreciated if some of the more intense investigations could be saved to take place in future logs, as the new locations that are opening up in this log will remain open in the next few at least and there will be plenty of time to explore all their mysteries.

— ITEMS FROM HOME The items from home remaining in Baneberry Hall will not be available past this log, at least not in this form, so if you would like to play with these elements, you should not sleep on this opportunity. More things may show up in the future but, for now, this is the main event.

— DW NOTIFS Back at the beginning of the year, the issue of missing email notifs was discussed in a code push plurk by Mark of the DW admin team. For those who missed it, the gist is that the issue with missing notifs is not going to be fixed anytime soon. The issue is so sporadic that the dev team has concluded the only way to possibly fix it is to redo the notification system entirely. This issue does not extend to DW's internal inbox, so short of checking every thread you're involved in, the DW inbox is the best way to make sure you're not missing things.

— ACTIVITY CHECK Beginning with June's AC (posted at the start of July), all tags that consist of only dialogue will count as 0.5 comments, not just those that occur in an inbox thread. This applies to both AC and AP totals.

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"Malcolm... Sees the cracks in him he thinks he hides well enough from sharp eyes. Tim doesn't - can't explore them outside his own time. I know Malcolm talks about me. I know Tim doesn't. I see where they conflict. They're.. different breeds of men.."

Raylan lifted his eyes back to Neal and there was only a fraction of shame in them.

"I'm going to tell Malcolm. When the time is right. Tim already knows, I-.. He's too much like Henry. I couldn't without talking to him first."

He was trying his best to not be a shit human being.

For a second, Neal doesn't doesn't understand. Or doesn't want to understand.

And then he does understand, and it's hard to breathe. His voice goes very quiet.

"Please, tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying." Except Neal already knows that Raylan can't say that. He wouldn't be admitting this if he could say that. Even quieter, Neal asks, "How long?"

Raylan wasn't sure what Neal thought he was saying. But he wasn't going to lie. Wasn't going to confirm anything in such clear words, but he wouldn't deny it either.

"I've known since the morning after he committed suicide in the tunnels. A week, half of which I've spent picking broken men up off the floor and been picked up myself." It meant a bare handful of trysts, all of the which had been deeply heartfelt and supportive. If Neal knew what it was like to see someone like Tim, an inarguably capable, competent, violently independent, crumble into tears and war trauma, for Raylan to be the best and only thing Tim would trust, even with strings of paranoia and bridges of trust to still be crossed.

It didn't matter if Neal didn't know about what had set Raylan off so badly that he lit the town hall on fire - Neal was going through his own shit at the time. But there was no point in keeping it secret. Not when Malcolm and Athena already knew. Not when Neal had died himself.

Suicide. Tim committed suicide. The twist of sorrow and empathy hits him like a punch, but on its heels comes the cruel impulse to ask, So you comforted him with your dick?

Neal squeezes the rubber band ball between his hands, lacing his fingers together and staring hard at the ground.

It comes out colder than he means it to, when he finally manages to ask, “Are you sleeping with him?”

There was no twisting that question into something that it wasn't and he could hide behind that not being Neal's business, but that in of itself would be a lie. Raylan didn't flinch away from the cold tone or the way that Neal wasn't looking him in the eye anymore.

"I have." He doubted Neal wanted details. "But he loved me before that. At home. Where I didn't know." Raylan was also sure that Neal could figure out the complexities from Tim's point of view.

A beat passed. "I'm not sorry for supporting him. Whatever that looks like."

Neal is on his feet abruptly. Turning away, turning back, locking eyes with Raylan with an expression he’s very sure the other man has never seen on his face.

“Are you still sleeping with him?”

Raylan kept his calm defenses up, face unmoving from it's expression as he puzzled something else out until it pinched softly, one hand lifting to gesture at him.

"You're in love with Malcolm too, aren't you." That's why he was so furious about this. And that's what it looked like on Neal's face. That if Raylan answered incorrectly, Neal was going to launch at him swinging.

Even without his own love backing it, he would have been furious, but now? It’s as scalding as acid, as hard to control as something aggressive and rabid.

He takes a jerky, half-step forward.

“Answer the fucking question.”

Another beat passed. He wasn't going to lie, there was no point in that, and there was no escaping things without making it worse.

"Yes. Just like I'm still sleeping with Henry." Would he be hit for that one too?

“Malcolm knows about Henry! Henry does more than tolerate his existence! What is wrong with you? You’re cheating on him! Cheating on him again. And Tim knows. He knows, but that hasn’t stopped him, even though he’s also knows Malcolm is the only one on the outside of this literal fucking loop.”

He takes a step forward as his voice starts to rise. Another. He doesn’t think Malcolm is home, but god Neal wishes he was. “What is Malcolm to you? An appetizer? A Thursday—?!”

Raylan wasn’t wrong about Neal taking a swing. And, with perhaps painful irony, boxing is one of the few aggressive sports Neal actually knows.

Raylan's jaw tightened a little but he knew he deserved it, the anger, the indignation, even if the idea of cheating was wrong. Raylan has been very clear on that, for this reason.

"He's-" But Raylan didn't get much further than that before Neal was punching him, and the solid hit connected on just jaw, sending him back a half pace before he was stepping forwards and swinging back. If his feet weren't hurt and cut to hell, he would have been fast on the forward move, but his arms were long enough and he'd scrapped more than a few times.

There was no room for word amid that kind of action.

It’s cheating, in Neal’s mind. Unequivocally. Having sex with multiple people without all parties aware—-it was dishonest, a betrayal, an affair. Cheating.

Somehow Raylan swinging back is a shock. As though the other man has any right to anger of his own. His punch connects, and Neal sees red. He throws himself at Raylan, punches right and controlled, a battery of blows practiced against bags, a hobby for fitness turned to vicious purpose.

Neal knows he has the advantage. Raylan is bigger than him, but he’s also injured. Raylan is injured. Neal should care.

He doesn’t.

Body already sore and still recovering from the shit he'd put himself through the night before last, Raylan's defenses were down too far to do anything other than take it, pushed back enough to trip and drag them both down to the floor. At least he didn't have to stand then. He only got a few swings in before he was trying to roll them over.

If he could pin Neal down, stop him from swinging for a goddamned minute..

Raylan was going to be black and blue after this.

Neal feels what Raylan is doing and doesn’t have the skills or experience to counter it. Raylan pins him, and he tries to headbutt the other man inexpertly in the nose.

The headbutt was easy enough to avoid with a pull back of his head, hair wild, hat lost somewhere to the left as Raylan finally got a chance to say anything back.

"Fucking stop it, Neal. Stop. Malcolm is not an appetizer or some Thursday roll in the goddamned hay and I am not in a different bed with each one of them on some rotating fuck schedule. I've slept with Tim twice and it's not going to happen again until I tell Malcolm because he deserves to know. I get you don't understand and don't agree with me, but I am trying to do the right thing." There were no pleas, not in the face of anger or violence, or the bloom of a bruise that he could already feel starting in his jaw.

Neal stops fighting, though he’s practically vibrating with anger still.

“The right thing would have been telling him after the first time. The right thing would have been keeping it in your fucking pants.”

Raylan's jaw tensed again, but he answered evenly. "You're right about telling him. You are. And this is the reason I told Malcolm I couldn't give him what he wanted. Before he knew about Henry and afterwards."

As for Tim well. Raylan wasn't going to be taking any real hits for that; Neal didn't understand. Raylan didn't blame him.

"I know I'm shit for it," he continued, voice finally dropping as he let of Neal's hands and got off him. "But I can't leave Tim to do it himself again, alone. Not here. Not with what he's been through already."

“Don’t you dare,” Neal hisses, still on the ground. “Don’t you dare talk like warning him justifies any of this.”

He rolls away from Raylan, onto his hands and knees, then climbs to his feet. Neal walks to the other side of the room, lacing his fingers together against the back of his neck. Not looking at Raylan. If he does he’s just going to go after him again.

“He loves you. He trusts you. He trusts you!” It’s a shout again, and this time he turns, barely keeping himself in check. Malcolm wouldn’t want him to hurt Raylan, not more. That’s the only reason he doesn’t try. “You know what the worst part of this is? He’s not even going to be mad at you. He’ll be hurt, maybe even shattered, but he won’t be mad.”

Neal works his jaw for a moment, fury rolling through him in waves that alternate cold and hot. “You don’t deserve him.”

Raylan stayed where he was, one hand draped at the elbow over his knee as he thumbed at the blood on his lip. His whole body ached now more than it did before but he wasn't going to complain about it. The pain was the least of what he deserved.

Of course, every word Neal piled on was a blow of it's own.

"I know," Raylan finally replies softly, shame settling in over him. "I know I don't."

Telling Neal that he loved Malcolm in return wasn't a wise choice so Raylan kept it to himself before it could be weaponized against him. Not that Neal would have been wrong to do it. It didn't matter that Raylan still wanted to keep Malcolm safe, protected, as happy as he could when he was failing that miserably already, Tim aside. Raylan was right to have worried about the idea of him loving more than one person meant that somehow, he couldn't love either of them enough. The 'right and proper' way.

"You can tell Malcolm as much after I've told him. After he'll likely agree with you. He may not love me any more afterwards." Raylan didn't want to prep for that kind of grieving but he'd made the situation as it was. Twisting in the wind for it was only appropriate.

"No, he won't," Neal snaps. "Agree with me, I mean. And yes, he will love you. You don't get off that easy."

He needs to get out of this house. He needs to go smash some windows of his own, light some fires, burn this stupid town to the ground. Preferably with Tim Gutterson inside one of the buildings.

"Did Tim know about Malcolm, the first time you fucked?"

No, he won't call it anything else.

Raylan didn't want off that easy. It wouldn't get him much of anything to say so, he imagined, so that was kept to himself too. The change from 'sleeping together' to 'fucking' had Raylan turning up dark eyes at Neal again. He may not have any rights to lines, but there were lines anyway.

"Why, so you can go and try your luck at swinin' on him too?"

"I'm not that stupid. I just want to know exactly what kind of person you threw Malcolm over for."

He doesn't look away from Raylan's glare.

"I haven't thrown Malcolm over. I haven't missed my night duty shifts, he and I still spend time together, wha-" Raylan paused and grunted as he pushed himself back to his feet, hat continuing to be ignored. He might as well leave it there until they were done, save Neal the trouble of knocking it off again.

"I know this is hard for you to wrap your head around. There's a reason I told Malcolm that I couldn't be exclusive. Henry was only part of that and Tim hadn't gotten here yet. You think I planned this or somethin? Like I saw a willin' body and just jumped in? You wanna know about what kinda person Tim is? How about a war vet kid sent out to do and see horrid things, brought back to a place where he can't so much as look at anyone in a hundred and fifty mile range without it bein a worry that he'll get the shit kicked outta him or worse; Tim has saved my life on more than one occasion, not to mention countless others and when he came here, all he saw was me 'whoring' in secret. Fucking,," Raylan scoffed, his gesturing finger falling.

"This ain't the back of a dive bar. It's not casual. Nothin' is. All I've been doin' is fightin' his feelings and Malcolm's feelin's and my own goddamned feelings for some peace. I'm not sorry about not lettin' Tim hate himself or Malcolm because I dare find a goddamned fragment of somethin' that makes me happy. Malcolm doesn't deserve that either."

Neal wants to care, when Raylan tells him what Tim has been through. Yeah, he had an inkling. He wants to care, when that inkling gets confirmed. He wants to be the kind of person who would care.

"Twenty-four hours," Neal says. Eyes still locked on Raylan's face. Completely unaware of a similar ultimatum given for very different reasons, with very different results. "You have twenty-four hours to tell him or I'm doing it myself. Get out."

Raylan thought about pointing out the fact that this was his house too but. They'd fought enough already.

"I'll be back tonight," he says quietly, finally pulling his eyes away to find his hat so he could ungracefully pick it up and put it back on his head. He didn't bother saying anything else and walked his slow way towards and out it.

Where was he headed? Across the street to the brewery and the spare tub and first aid supplies in there. So what if he ended up hitting the moonshine too, he couldn't get much lower.

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