villagelogs | 037-040 » the reason for time

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037-040 » the reason for time

WHO: Everyone.
WHERE: Eastern/Central Mathias
WHEN: Day 037-040
WHAT: The dead return and the living wake to changes within Mathias Township.
WARNINGS: Some explicit sexual content in threads. (PM this account to have a warning added!)
NOTES: Plotting post over here!

RECOMMENDED ♫ Kammarheit "Sleep after Toyle, Port after Stormie Seas"

DAY 037
THE DEAD RETURN
“The only reason for time is so that everything
doesn't happen at once.” —Albert Einstein
The dead return to Mathias forever changed by their experiences. Waking along the beach, near the tree line, or among the graves, they will find that their bodies are not as they remember them. They are whole again and not torn to shreds by the shadow creatures that cannot be described, but they are also not as they were before the Hunt. These residents will find, so strangely, that their bodies are in the physical state in which they first arrived in Mathias — any injuries or recovery they have made since their initial arrival no longer exists, as if their time in Mathias has simply been a horrible nightmare. Except they all now carry a last reminder of the Hunt with them: spiderweb-thin healed scars marking their injuries from the Hunt. Those who were injured by fire in the other realm also carry those burns with them.

The dead are not the only things that have returned to Mathias. Inexplicably, fall is back, with the temperature finally reaching above freezing and snow falling from trees to reveal beautiful autumnal colors. As the sun rises higher in the lightly cloudy sky and the day warms, the snow begins rapidly melting, puddles growing in the slowly revealed grass and little rivers forming in the streets. And with that snow comes the frozen blood from the deaths to the Hunt, tinting the street river on Phillips Drive a sickening shade of red.

Another oddity that residents will notice: houses with broken windows from the encounter with the fog on Day 015 have now been completely repaired, though any boards put in place are still there somehow. A small bit of good news, at least? And truly, how kind of Mathias to clean up its own mess.

Finally, alcohol is back. Enjoy in moderation, friends, for more will not be arriving the following morning.

THE NEW ARRIVALS
The newest arrivals to Mathias will wake up on the beach near The Grey Gull. It's quite chilly out with their wet clothes, but surely there's something to help warm them inside the restaurant. Indeed, their timing is perfect, for alcohol has finally returned to Mathias Township — and not just the cowboys' homemade moonshine.

DAY 038-039
THE CHANGE OF SEASON
The continued warm weather proves that the unseasonable shift of the previous day was not merely a fluke. Once again, the sun rises and brings with it a temperature that feels almost spring-like, save for the fact that each day there seem to be more and more leaves on the trees in hues of red and orange. For those who have been in Mathias for some time, this new type of weird may be almost normal at this point, but newer arrivals will likely find it quite odd.

The gently trickling river running along Phillips Drive is still somewhat pink in color as the snow continues to melt and refreeze each night. By Day 040, the bloody snow will finally be gone completely, though the relief will be... short-lived.

DAY 040
THE BLINDING WHITE
In the late morning of Day 040, when the sun is visible through patchy greyish clouds, the fog sweeps into town like a like a tidal wave. It moves in quickly and without warning, not from the waterfront but the forest, cascading through every street in a thick wave of white. Rather than a soft blanket enveloping the town, it is a heavy weight pressing down, blotting out the sky in a way that almost feels suffocating, for none can see further than their outstretch hand.

Those outside when it rolls in are left wandering blind, stumbling toward shelter as you're unable to even see your feet beneath you, let alone any obstacles in your path. Perhaps you call out for help, hoping for another voice to guide you toward shelter or simply another living soul. Or perhaps you were lucky enough to already be inside when the fog descended, quickly closing doors and windows to keep it from creeping in.

Unlike the last time the fog swept into the town, residents who encounter it are not immediately killed. Instead, they are simply disoriented, possibly losing their sense of time and place, and it is only after prolonged exposure that they will begin to feel off. A sense of being ill will cling to them if they are in the fog for too long, including dizziness, lightheadedness, or nausea — the time it takes to manifest varies from person to person, as does the duration it will last after leaving the fog.

By nightfall, the fog still has not dissipated.

CONDITIONS UPDATE

— THE WEATHER conditions are fairly typical for late fall: chilly "sweater weather" days and nights that can dip just below freezing. You don't want to be outside without a coat, but it won't kill anyone if they bundle up. Probably.

— THE FOG remains blocking the paths in the forest beginning a few dozen yards past the treeline, urging residents to stay huddled within the town proper, and it also now blocks the western section of town, beginning just past Hill Lane, before where residents know the chasm in the earth to be between Hill and Stine Road. Venturing into the fog blocking these areas is ill-advised.

— DISAPPEARANCES continue. Castiel and Sam Winchester have vanished, and Dean Winchester has not returned with the others after his death during the Hunt.

— THE GRAVEYARD has now seen around a dozen burials, both below and above ground. With the weather warming, though, something may need to be done about the handful of temporary graves aboveground...

— ALCOHOL has returned to Mathias! A small stock of beer and cheap wine may be found at the General Store, and some homes may have a small store of alcohol in the fridge or pantry. The Grey Gull has also been restocked with its lower-end offerings of a variety of alcohol types. Alcohol does not replenish in the same way as food.

— THE GREY GULL has been cleaned up and stocked with moonshine. Along with the newly restocked usual offerings, the place almost seems like an actual bar again.

— THE GENERAL STORE is in a bit of a state following the brutal slaughter of two residents during the Hunt. Cleanup on aisle 3, anyone?

OOC NOTES

— FOOD is now being mysteriously restocked as per usual, including inside homes and at the General Store. Alcohol is not being restocked. Use those rationing skills, friends.

— REWARD REDEPEMPTION is back and will soon have a new option for anyone looking to spend big AP and learn a bit more of the lore of the town.

— MADNESSES due to the Hunt have been earned by Klaus Hargreeves, Ellie, and Malcolm Bright and may now be claimed. Players may also claim additional sanity loss from the aftermath of the Hunt; only losses from the Hunt itself have been deducted from totals thus far.

— SANITY REGAIN is now available! Players will submit a form with some details of the progress their character has made and the mod will review and decide on the numbers of points that will be regained.

— MOD STATUS The usual reminder that it's mostly just Amy steering this ship for now, so things will probably be pretty slow for a while. Apologies in advance, and please don't feel shy about pinging me if you're stuck waiting for something.

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For one brief moment, she wants to tell him. It would be such a relief for him to know, to have one less secret between them, but that moment passes as quickly as it came, that fleeting premonition of relief replaced by a fear that sinks into her bones like the cold of space.

"I can't," she whispers, shaking her head before half-hiding her face against her pillow. "I can't, Neal. I'm not ready for you to see me like that."

He stays quiet for a moment, just running his hand through her hair.

"See you like what?"

She's quiet for just as long, trying and failing to find the words to describe how she sees herself after what happened. It wasn't the incident itself, she has nothing to be ashamed of for what was done to her, but the way she's handled it... The fear and pain that still lingers is what she's ashamed of.

"A victim."

He rests his face against the back of her neck, weighing his words. This is one of those capital-M Moments, the kind of conversation that a relationship could change direction around. He doesn't want to push her. But he doesn't want to let her close this fractionally-opened door, either.

"Agent Johnson," he says softly, "whatever happened, whatever was done to you... you're a hero. You're my hero."

Neal kisses the scar on the back of her neck, staying close enough that his lips move over her skin as he talks. "You're also allowed to be Daisy, the wounded. The vulnerable."

He's quiet for a moment. "We're all victims here. Every single one of us. But we're still here, and no matter what else that makes us, it also makes us survivors."

You're my hero. It hurts so much to hear those words because he doesn't know. Neal Caffrey, the normal guy from another universe, has absolutely no idea just how broken she is. He doesn't know the things she's done.

Would he still be saying any of this if he knew? She can't bring herself to hope that he would.

That kiss to one of her many scars makes her tense up, though her hand on his arm presses firmly to keep him in place. She breathes through her fight or flight instinct, listening to his words, trying so hard to let them sink in. Survivors...

But at what cost? What will all of this do to them? She's seen what damage horrible trauma can inflict on even the kindest person and some small part of her is still terrified that she'll end up like her mother, angry and broken and full of hate. The memories of that hate twist into what she endured in that barn and all she can do is try to steady her breathing as her body threatens another round of tears.

Will Neal ever get to know the side of her that's strong? Will he only ever see the broken pieces barely being held together at all?

Neal's glad she tightens her grip on his arm, gives him that signal to stay close. He was going to withdraw a little. Give her space. He relaxes against her again.

He starts singing softly, since that seemed to help downstairs.

"It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by..."

It helps now as well, the vibrations of his voice moving through her and wrapping around her like a soft blanket. After a few verses, a calm settles over her again, accompanied by a hazy numbness. It's good, numb is good. Numb is what lets her speak again when he finishes the song.

She just hopes she doesn't regret this in the morning.

"When I was a baby, my mom was taken by HYDRA." The words feel like broken glass in her throat, a rough quality to the words that she resolutely ignores. "She was Inhuman and she could... She lived a long time. One of their scientists found her in the 40s and when they found her again and she hadn't aged..."

Daisy shuts her eyes tight against the memory of Whitehall's face. "He cut into her, left her in pieces, and took her power for himself so he could be young again. My dad had to put her back together when he found her body in a ditch."

He doesn't know what HYDRA is, but the context makes it clear enough what they do. What, at bottom, they are.

Neal also has an idea of where this is going, and it makes him feel ill. He wants to guess at the situation, almost, to take the responsibility of saying the words off of her shoulders, but it's not his story to paraphrase, or warp, or unintentionally pry into more than she's willing to share.

So he just holds her, humming softly as she speaks. If he can't do anything else, he can at least do that.

There's so much that Neal probably wouldn't understand about her life and all the pieces that had part of is thus far. Her life is a mess, full of pain and regret and loss, but it's also been full of so much that would overwhelm someone who isn't a part of that life.

"SHIELD saved me. They thought they were saving me..." She's never thought too hard about what might have been if she'd still been there in the village when her parents returned, how things might have been different from the ideal life Cal had described. SHIELD is her home, her family.

Her hand wraps around his at her waist, holding on to him to keep him there. "A few days before I was brought here, someone saw me use my power. He'd heard about what that scientist had done and he—" Just rip off the bandaid, Johnson. "He did it to me."

It's the third time she's told someone what happened and it's the hardest one yet.

Jesus.

Neal goes breathless with the revelation, thinking the curse without being able to voice it. Her mother left in pieces so someone could steal a fundamental part of her, then Daisy. Two generations violated to their bones by men who wanted what they couldn't naturally give. What should never have been stolen. What was intrinsically theirs, part of the way they defined and understood themselves--

He closes his eyes, tightening his hold on her just a fraction, trying to keep himself from holding her close enough to hurt. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, particularly now.

Nothing he can say is remotely adequate, no comfort he can offer would come close to touching what she's been through. But he can't say nothing.

"You're a miracle," is what he lands on, and he has to pause as his voice breaks with grief for her. "I told you before that if you were broken, it was a beautiful, human kind of broken. But Daisy, you are a miracle of a person that you can even stand to be around anyone here after that. Please--"

He's not sure what he's asking her for. He rests his face gently against the back of her neck. "Never, never, never think that going through hell makes you someone to be pitied on the other side."

She doesn't feel like a miracle. She feels small and lost, as helpless in this horrible place as she'd been in that barn. And now Neal knows, now he'll be able to see it in every little moment her brokenness shows through. In a moment of terrified anguish, she wishes she could take it back.

But he's still holding her, still trying to console her, and some tiny part of her wonders if it really will be okay.

"I was doing better," she tells him quietly, wishing she could wrap her arms around him but so scared of seeing the look on his face. It's better she doesn't know how the pain in his voice is reflected in his eyes. "Simmons patched me up, I was getting stronger."

She's so very tired. "But now I feel like I did weeks ago and I can't stop remembering. I couldn't stop him."

The analytical part of his mind makes note of that, the fact that she feels like she did when they first arrived. It's a very, very small part of his mind right now. He strokes his free hand through her hair, so, so glad she'll let him touch her. He's not sure he would be able to let anyone this close after something like that. Not for a very long time.

"There's always, always someone stronger," he says, voice still soft. "There's always going to be someone you can't stop."

He closes his eyes. "Daisy, please--look at me?"

Neal touching her is one of the only things keeping her from falling apart completely. Before she'd been brought here, she hadn't had time to process what had been done to her. There had been a crisis immediately after she'd woken up on the Zephyr, and then suddenly she'd been here... In all the weeks since, she's tried so very hard to avoid addressing that trauma and fear.

It keeps cropping up though.

There's always going to be someone you can't stop. Hearing him say that... It doesn't help. She's supposed to be strong enough to stop them, because if there's someone out there she can't stop, that makes them the worst of the worst. Every time she's needed someone to step in—

She can't lose more people she loves because she isn't strong enough.

It feels like it takes her an hour to slowly turn her head, his face just visible from the corner of her eye, and then she even more slowly moves to her back so she can see him. So she can look at him like he'd asked, the pain and fear on her face impossible to hide.

He has his grief under control by the time she actually looks at him. He shifts his hand from her hair to her cheek, brushing his thumb back and forth against her skin. He takes in that pain, that fear, and finds the deepest calm he can to meet them.

Neal shifts close enough to kiss her, lingering and gentle.

"I have no idea what to say," he admits softly. "I've never known anyone like you before. I've never known someone with so much riding on their shoulders, or someone so determined to carry it all alone."

He kisses her again. "My Atlas Telamon."

For a moment, he doesn't say anything else. "There are a few different versions of Atlas's myth, did you know that? A few different versions of the story of Atlas and Hercules, in particular. The most common narrative has Hercules take up the sky for Atlas for a short while in exchange for a few of the golden apples from the Garden of the Hesperides.

"Atlas went and got the apples, and didn't want to hold up the sky any more, so he told Hercules that he would deliver the apples to the king who demanded them. Hercules agreed, but asked Atlas if he would take the sky back just for a moment so he could fix his cloak as padding across his shoulders. As soon as Atlas took the burden, Hercules grabbed the apples and ran, leaving him alone again at the edge of the sky."

He ghosts his hand down from her cheek to pass his thumb across her lips. "That's not the one I like. In the one I like, Hercules feels the burden that Atlas carries and has compassion for him. When Atlas returns with the golden apples, Hercules offers to help free him once and for all if Atlas will trust him not to run after returning the sky. Atlas almost says no, not believing any son of Zeus would have any mercy for someone who sided with the Titans. But in the end, he agrees, and he takes his load back. Hercules uses his strength to build the Pillars of Hercules to take the weight of the sky, releasing Atlas from the punishment that was supposed to hold him until the end of the world."

Another little kiss. "I'm no Hercules. Saying that up front, as much as it pains me." He half-smiles. "I don't know if I can build you pillars that would last outside of this place. I don't think I even know..."

He glances away from her eyes to her lips, then slowly looks back again. "I don't think I can even understand everything you carry, Daisy, if I'm being honest. Which, by the way, is not my natural state."

Quiet for a moment, then he speaks again, the humor gone, gentleness in its place. "But I can feel the burden. I can feel it every time I look at you. Even if you have to be Atlas out there, in front of everyone else--when we're together, let me be Hercules for you. Just for a little while."

Edited 2021-03-27 19:43 (UTC)

Is she determined to carry this weight alone, or has she simply been alone with it for so long that she can't fathom the idea of sharing it? For so much of her life, she only had herself to rely on, and even when she joined SHIELD and found a family, she'd always worried about putting too much of her own burdens on them. It's part of why she'd pushed them away again and again when things got bad, why she tried so hard not to let them see how broken she was.

But now here's Neal, telling her these fantastical stories, acknowledging the weight of her burdens and how far beyond him they are. And he's asking her to...

Daisy slips her arm across Neal's middle, laying close against him so she can press her cheek to his chest. His heartbeat is a quiet thump she can hear, steady and reassuring, and she lets herself drift into it for a few moments before speaking.

"Only you could say something so wonderful and be a complete dork about it."

She can't make the promises he's asking of her. After everything they've been through in these few short weeks, she refuses to promise anything that she might not be able to keep. But she isn't pushing him away. She'll try; hopefully that will be enough.

Edited 2021-04-09 03:25 (UTC)

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037-040 » the reason for time

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