"It had to be, it-" He inhaled sharply, shoulders lifting unevenly in something of a shrug. But at the second question, he fervently shook his head. "No," he urged, hands gripping into Malcolm as he lifted his knees, wrapping himself a little further around the smaller man like that alone would stop them from going anywhere. "No, I can't. I can't do mirrors, not right now, I can't stand to look in them, to see myself and whatever the fuck is living over my left shoulder. Whatever followed me out of that damned chasm that Jeff and I almost fell into. She's watching us, I can feel it."