Well, you'd have to first come up with motivation. Figure out the reason they'd wanna kidnap you.

[Should he be offended about being the expert on all that stuff? But he's not, he's just rolling with it, happy to help.]

Then you gotta come up with a routine that they did daily. What kinda meals did they give you? Were you tied up? Blindfolded? Did they make you call for a ransom? You gotta be careful with that one since obviously it never happened, so you have to come up with some reason it either never happened or someone fake they called.