"I decided before the storm to tell you. It only happened a couple of times and not after that decision." It wasn't on and on. It didn't matter. Raylan stared at the floor between them, the shoes Malcolm had worn and the way his feet dangled. It would have been almost worth half a smile if they weren't in the middle of everything else.
You don’t deserve him.
Seeing Malcolm reach for his bottle had Raylan pushing away from his spot and walking towards his own medication, his glass of shine. Coping companion.
Yes, he will love you. You don't get off that easy. He still didn't want to get off easy.
Malcolm's question was a fair one, as most everything he'd said had been fair in one rite or another but Raylan found it harder to answer. Too much and he'd be accused of not letting the road be equal. Too little and he'd be accused of not caring enough. It really was about the sex. Not feeling, not emotional attachment or connection. Just the sex.
He stared into his glass for a long moment. Part of him thought about telling Malcolm what he'd figured out about Neal but in the end he chose not to. That wasn't his business, was it. Maybe once. He could still hear the sobs that Malcolm was fighting in his voice. He couldn't stand to make them worse by the suggestion that Malcolm go be with someone that did deserve him or by trying to distract him with shit that didn't pertain to them. He couldn't send him away.
"I won't stop you from doing what you'd like," he said, keeping his back tilted towards Malcolm for now. He couldn't look at him. He couldn't face all that heartbreak head on just now. "I can't say I won't care but.. I won't stop you. I told you there aren't going to be anymore and when Doc or Tim vanishes, no one's going to replace 'em. No one can."
He emptied his glass with a swallow and turned it over in his hands. It matter who they were sleeping with. It did.
"Just that I'm.. given some kinda notice.. In the end."
no subject
You don’t deserve him.
Seeing Malcolm reach for his bottle had Raylan pushing away from his spot and walking towards his own medication, his glass of shine. Coping companion.
Yes, he will love you. You don't get off that easy. He still didn't want to get off easy.
Malcolm's question was a fair one, as most everything he'd said had been fair in one rite or another but Raylan found it harder to answer. Too much and he'd be accused of not letting the road be equal. Too little and he'd be accused of not caring enough. It really was about the sex. Not feeling, not emotional attachment or connection. Just the sex.
He stared into his glass for a long moment. Part of him thought about telling Malcolm what he'd figured out about Neal but in the end he chose not to. That wasn't his business, was it. Maybe once. He could still hear the sobs that Malcolm was fighting in his voice. He couldn't stand to make them worse by the suggestion that Malcolm go be with someone that did deserve him or by trying to distract him with shit that didn't pertain to them. He couldn't send him away.
"I won't stop you from doing what you'd like," he said, keeping his back tilted towards Malcolm for now. He couldn't look at him. He couldn't face all that heartbreak head on just now. "I can't say I won't care but.. I won't stop you. I told you there aren't going to be anymore and when Doc or Tim vanishes, no one's going to replace 'em. No one can."
He emptied his glass with a swallow and turned it over in his hands. It matter who they were sleeping with. It did.
"Just that I'm.. given some kinda notice.. In the end."