It was none of their business. None of it was any of their business.

But Malcolm was touching him and coming against him and saying all of that - it made his head spin. It was conflicting signals and there was no way in hell he could push Malcolm away and demand clarification. Not when he was the one in the wrong.

"I'm.. I'm telling you now," he whispered, heart breaking in his chest and clawing its way up his throat. "It's not ever expanding, it's not."

He had wanted dancing. He had wanted futures, he had- wanted too much.

"You're not some package, some gay starter kit Malcolm, you're my first and-" There was no replacing that. Malcolm was special to him for so many other reasons but he wasn't disposable. He wasn't some stepping ladder up. Raylan swallowed again, hands settling oh so lightly on Malcolm's shoulders as he shook his head fractionally, resisting the urge to plant a kiss into Malcolm's hair.

I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I need you. I can't just be friends.

"There's not going to be any others." He felt small and vulnerable and a bit like he was begging for grace. "I promise there aren't."