Neal grins. It's gratifying to get that strong of a reaction from Doc. "The temptation was definitely there."

The grin drops away at Doc's observation, the question that follows. Neal self-consciously wraps his left hand around his right, even though the later isn't shaking right now. He told Malcolm that he couldn't paint like this. Malcolm insisted that he might not be able to paint a Monet, but he could still paint.

No. No, he couldn't.

"I just haven't been in a good place for it."

Even though it's supposed to be the place he retreats to when he needs it most.