"Well... I do." He hates seeing her on this path, knowing full well where it leads. But he can also understand that it matters very little what other peoples' opinions are on the matter. It can be blinding, all-consuming, this chase for something that you don't know what to do with once you've got it.
At the back of his mind he wonders if she's trying to get a rise out of him, or if the affronting frankness of her question was carved in translation, unable to be tempered by more nuanced wording. Perhaps he's just old-fashioned in the way he tries to gently probe and let people down.
Had she asked him if he was a coward at the time he'd been told that to his face, he would have been defensive - perhaps even aggressive. It used to be an easy button to push, especially when he's got something to prove, when someone antagonistic is taunting him. These days the button is a little broken. Hell, maybe he's a little broken in all sorts of places in general.
"Yes," he replies after taking a deep breath in and letting it out in an inaudible sigh. A coward and a fool, he had been. Still is, sometimes.
"Brave men die, and I am still alive. So I must be." And he has seen that all bravery amounts to is a few posthumous token sentiments on the internet and in the books. It doesn't seem to be worth much to him. Honestly, while he would prefer being lamented as overly cautious these days, thinking before he leaps, he would happily be a coward if it means other people won't die from reckless bravery.
no subject
At the back of his mind he wonders if she's trying to get a rise out of him, or if the affronting frankness of her question was carved in translation, unable to be tempered by more nuanced wording. Perhaps he's just old-fashioned in the way he tries to gently probe and let people down.
Had she asked him if he was a coward at the time he'd been told that to his face, he would have been defensive - perhaps even aggressive. It used to be an easy button to push, especially when he's got something to prove, when someone antagonistic is taunting him. These days the button is a little broken. Hell, maybe he's a little broken in all sorts of places in general.
"Yes," he replies after taking a deep breath in and letting it out in an inaudible sigh. A coward and a fool, he had been. Still is, sometimes.
"Brave men die, and I am still alive. So I must be." And he has seen that all bravery amounts to is a few posthumous token sentiments on the internet and in the books. It doesn't seem to be worth much to him. Honestly, while he would prefer being lamented as overly cautious these days, thinking before he leaps, he would happily be a coward if it means other people won't die from reckless bravery.