Neal makes a noise that isn't really a laugh. It feels like there's something heavy pushing down on him internally, like a fist that's reached through his skin to force his heart lower inside him.

"Is it normal that I don't want to see her? I feel like I should want to see her, help her get used to things again, do something. If Bucky didn't throw me through a window for approaching."

He's mostly, mostly exaggerating with that last part. "I..."

It's his turn to focus on the floor. "I want to be the kind of person who would want to see her."