"I just hate how much it still hurts," he breathes out, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to make himself smaller; he has a repetitive habit of it, especially when he's upset, or feels like he's in the way somehow. So many habits he has could be traced back to his childhood and things he did when he was young that he just never gave up, instead it got drilled into his subconscious as the thing to do in certain situations.