She tilts her head to the side a bit, considering that question. There's never an after in her head, is there? After means going back to Jackson and Dina has a baby and maybe the gaping wound inside her will become less. Maybe it won't. She has no idea. She's aware on some level that killing Abby can't make up for Joel never being there again, but that's never been enough to stop her.
She's not sure what Neal thinks, not of her and her bloody revenge or any of it. There's that uncertainty. Neal doesn't strike her as a killer (though you never quite know, do you?). But he doesn't immediately condemn her, at least not out loud. Malcolm hadn't either.
So she shrugs.
"I don't know. I don’t know if there is an after." She has no idea if she lives through this encounter. She doesn't plan to die, of course. She has to keep Dina safe and all. But there's a very real possibility she won't. She's never dared bring that up with Dina.
"I don't care, though. I can't let her live, not after that. Coming to our home." She knows why Abby killed Joel and it doesn't fucking matter. How many people have to die because Ellie herself lived? It's too much. But those WLF assholes are just getting what's coming to them. "She should have killed me too. Her mistake, I guess."
She doesn't – she can't – tell Neal she was there, that she saw it, that she couldn't save him and she can't get over that. The words just stick inside her with the things she can't stop seeing. Well, good enough. She told him what he wanted to know, right?
no subject
She's not sure what Neal thinks, not of her and her bloody revenge or any of it. There's that uncertainty. Neal doesn't strike her as a killer (though you never quite know, do you?). But he doesn't immediately condemn her, at least not out loud. Malcolm hadn't either.
So she shrugs.
"I don't know. I don’t know if there is an after." She has no idea if she lives through this encounter. She doesn't plan to die, of course. She has to keep Dina safe and all. But there's a very real possibility she won't. She's never dared bring that up with Dina.
"I don't care, though. I can't let her live, not after that. Coming to our home." She knows why Abby killed Joel and it doesn't fucking matter. How many people have to die because Ellie herself lived? It's too much. But those WLF assholes are just getting what's coming to them. "She should have killed me too. Her mistake, I guess."
She doesn't – she can't – tell Neal she was there, that she saw it, that she couldn't save him and she can't get over that. The words just stick inside her with the things she can't stop seeing. Well, good enough. She told him what he wanted to know, right?