Malcolm reaches out, hesitates, then puts his hand over Neal's again and gave it a squeeze before withdrawing it.
He knew exactly how hard that was to admit. He knew what the 'I'm fine' defence mechanism was for and how bad things had to be to let it fall, even when everyone knew you were lying.
"I wasn't handling it either. There was a day, early on, when Raylan and I woke up in the lighthouse. Kind of... kind of like the way we woke up somewhere else the other day. I'd only just met him once, right after I arrived. For about ten minutes. He was tearing copper pipe out of one of the rundown houses. I asked him some questions. I wasn't... off my meds yet. I didn't realize what I was in for. Then, a few days later... suddenly we were in the lighthouse together and you couldn't reach it from here at that time. There was no door out. We went up."
He paused, shifting his weight, starting to unconsciously wring his hands.
"There was a moment when we were climbing the stairs up and up and up and I looked over the railing and I considered just.... falling. What if I just fell? It was just a thought. Maybe. But. Raylan noticed... something. He sort of... snapped me out of it. He wouldn't let me walk on the outside after that." He frowned faintly. "I think maybe he saved my life that day."
no subject
He knew exactly how hard that was to admit. He knew what the 'I'm fine' defence mechanism was for and how bad things had to be to let it fall, even when everyone knew you were lying.
"I wasn't handling it either. There was a day, early on, when Raylan and I woke up in the lighthouse. Kind of... kind of like the way we woke up somewhere else the other day. I'd only just met him once, right after I arrived. For about ten minutes. He was tearing copper pipe out of one of the rundown houses. I asked him some questions. I wasn't... off my meds yet. I didn't realize what I was in for. Then, a few days later... suddenly we were in the lighthouse together and you couldn't reach it from here at that time. There was no door out. We went up."
He paused, shifting his weight, starting to unconsciously wring his hands.
"There was a moment when we were climbing the stairs up and up and up and I looked over the railing and I considered just.... falling. What if I just fell? It was just a thought. Maybe. But. Raylan noticed... something. He sort of... snapped me out of it. He wouldn't let me walk on the outside after that." He frowned faintly. "I think maybe he saved my life that day."