Haven't been having too much luck there myself. [ Except with her. He sleeps so much better with the warmth of someone safe nearby.
Deep breath. ]
I have to tell you something. [ His throat tightens around the words, but he pushes on, because he nearly lost his nerve on the way over here as it is. He reaches out, taking hold of the fingertips of one of her hands. ]
I promised you I would be honest. And honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what this is. What we've got. I know I didn't expect it when I woke up under a bed four days ago.
[ He exhales a pained little laugh. Four days. This is ridiculous. He's just making an ass of himself, acting like there's something here to break. ] I don't even know if it is to you what it feels like to me. I think it might be something, though.
[ He focuses on breathing, talking, meeting her eyes. ] All I know is that I'm terrified of messing it up. And I might have.
[ Neal brushes his thumb over her knuckles. ] In the week I've been here...
[ Deep breath. Exhale. ] I thought it was because no one here knew me. But people don't look at me like a criminal. That's never happened to me before, not when I'm just being me. I can count on one hand the number of people who trust me, and sometimes I'm not even sure of those.
[ He falters, finally. Drops his eyes, unable to look her in the eye. ] I told someone here what I was. What I've always been. A thief, a con man. I told him I couldn't be anything else, and he told me I was wrong. I kissed him.
[ He tries to swallow around the knot in his throat. A thief and a con man, stealing kisses from near-strangers. Maybe that is all he can be. ] I'm sorry. I can't pretend I... didn't, don't feel anything, there.
[ Neal forces himself to look back at Daisy's face. His heart fills his throat with tiny hammers, making it hard to breathe. ] But I told him there's someone else I promised myself to, for as long as we're here, anyway.
[ He laughs faintly, his smile wary and a little wounded. ] If you'll still have me.
no subject
Deep breath. ]
I have to tell you something. [ His throat tightens around the words, but he pushes on, because he nearly lost his nerve on the way over here as it is. He reaches out, taking hold of the fingertips of one of her hands. ]
I promised you I would be honest. And honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what this is. What we've got. I know I didn't expect it when I woke up under a bed four days ago.
[ He exhales a pained little laugh. Four days. This is ridiculous. He's just making an ass of himself, acting like there's something here to break. ] I don't even know if it is to you what it feels like to me. I think it might be something, though.
[ He focuses on breathing, talking, meeting her eyes. ] All I know is that I'm terrified of messing it up. And I might have.
[ Neal brushes his thumb over her knuckles. ] In the week I've been here...
[ Deep breath. Exhale. ] I thought it was because no one here knew me. But people don't look at me like a criminal. That's never happened to me before, not when I'm just being me. I can count on one hand the number of people who trust me, and sometimes I'm not even sure of those.
[ He falters, finally. Drops his eyes, unable to look her in the eye. ] I told someone here what I was. What I've always been. A thief, a con man. I told him I couldn't be anything else, and he told me I was wrong. I kissed him.
[ He tries to swallow around the knot in his throat. A thief and a con man, stealing kisses from near-strangers. Maybe that is all he can be. ] I'm sorry. I can't pretend I... didn't, don't feel anything, there.
[ Neal forces himself to look back at Daisy's face. His heart fills his throat with tiny hammers, making it hard to breathe. ] But I told him there's someone else I promised myself to, for as long as we're here, anyway.
[ He laughs faintly, his smile wary and a little wounded. ] If you'll still have me.