With that, Quentin leaves, heading for the couch in the living room. Somewhere soft, where he can curl up like a crazy person and watch the fire flicker in the heath.
Sure, it might not have been the best idea in the world, but freak flag? Quentin knows, intellectually, how he is. How he’s seen, most times, it’s just that the latest quest and years of being near-isolated at Brakebills, muted that. For a little while. The knowing. Wilfully ignored, is more like, since Eliot made it so very clear with his whole speech about That’s not me, and it’s definitely not you. Not when we have a choice.
His thoughts fall back in to the old familiar grove, the well-worn path of self-loathing. He didn’t get to make sacrifices for the people that he loved, Eliot made sure of that when he shot the Monster and Alice destroyed Julia’s shot at being a goddess straight after. It had all been this huge mess, and now he was trapped. Again. Here.
He stays by the fire, thinking. Trying to find a way to be useful. To find that one thing that will fix this, and comes up empty.
A little more than an hour later, whether Dean is there or not, he walks back in to the kitchen, empty cup in hand, and starts the water running to clean up.]
no subject
With that, Quentin leaves, heading for the couch in the living room. Somewhere soft, where he can curl up like a crazy person and watch the fire flicker in the heath.
Sure, it might not have been the best idea in the world, but freak flag? Quentin knows, intellectually, how he is. How he’s seen, most times, it’s just that the latest quest and years of being near-isolated at Brakebills, muted that. For a little while. The knowing. Wilfully ignored, is more like, since Eliot made it so very clear with his whole speech about That’s not me, and it’s definitely not you. Not when we have a choice.
His thoughts fall back in to the old familiar grove, the well-worn path of self-loathing. He didn’t get to make sacrifices for the people that he loved, Eliot made sure of that when he shot the Monster and Alice destroyed Julia’s shot at being a goddess straight after. It had all been this huge mess, and now he was trapped. Again. Here.
He stays by the fire, thinking. Trying to find a way to be useful. To find that one thing that will fix this, and comes up empty.
A little more than an hour later, whether Dean is there or not, he walks back in to the kitchen, empty cup in hand, and starts the water running to clean up.]