"I'm sorry, what?" Negan's initial thought is that this asshole is pulling his leg, but the mannerisms, the looks, the name... Hell. Now, is it bad manners using their possibly limited time to figure out how the hell a six hundred and sixty-six year old is running around still?
Or just accept the old crazy at face value like he did The King back home?
"Yeah... yeah. I was a teacher. Man, the parents hated me. I cared about those kids though. Really connected with them. Trick is, you gotta treat them like they've got some fucking brains, not like they're goddamn infants." You show respect, they tend to give it back.
Negan's expression darkens as Doc continues on, something like shame twisting at him inside, that rock solid guilt that stays in the pit of his stomach. Doc has no idea how close to fucking home that hits. "My wife-- I haven't told many this story, just one other guy, but she was a fucking angel, man. Better than I ever deserved. I was a fucking asshole to her. We tried for kids, didn't happen... somewhere along the way, I started sleeping with other women, lying to her about it."
He falls quiet for a moment, brows furrowing. "Then she got sick. Cancer, no treatment worked even if she put up a hell of a fight. Even if I pushed for every treatment in the goddamn book. You never know which is worse, you know? Watching the person you love the most suffer and knowing you can do fuck all to stop it or actually losing them and any chance you got to make up your past."
Negan drops his eyes, carefully not meeting Doc's. He knows what kinda look is probably there. Same one that was on the preacher's creepy as fuck face. Disgust, looking at him like the piece of shit he really is. "Sometimes I wonder if-- I brought it on, you know? If God was trying to punish me and she got caught in the crossfire of it all. Only positive thing is she was gone before things got real bad. 'Course I didn't even have the balls at the time to stick around, put her down when she came back."
And he should have. Fuck, he should have. She deserved the rest. "I'm-- sorry you were on the other side of that, man. I don't know your circumstances, but I can say from being on the other end... sometimes you just don't fucking know how to act. Sometimes you're just scared shitless and trying to be as brave as you can be. Although gotta say, for a dying man... impressive you made it to six hundred. What's your secret?"
He snorts after a moment, rubbing a hand down over his face. "Yeah, I guess that's one way to look at it. You only suffer a little while."
no subject
Or just accept the old crazy at face value like he did The King back home?
"Yeah... yeah. I was a teacher. Man, the parents hated me. I cared about those kids though. Really connected with them. Trick is, you gotta treat them like they've got some fucking brains, not like they're goddamn infants." You show respect, they tend to give it back.
Negan's expression darkens as Doc continues on, something like shame twisting at him inside, that rock solid guilt that stays in the pit of his stomach. Doc has no idea how close to fucking home that hits. "My wife-- I haven't told many this story, just one other guy, but she was a fucking angel, man. Better than I ever deserved. I was a fucking asshole to her. We tried for kids, didn't happen... somewhere along the way, I started sleeping with other women, lying to her about it."
He falls quiet for a moment, brows furrowing. "Then she got sick. Cancer, no treatment worked even if she put up a hell of a fight. Even if I pushed for every treatment in the goddamn book. You never know which is worse, you know? Watching the person you love the most suffer and knowing you can do fuck all to stop it or actually losing them and any chance you got to make up your past."
Negan drops his eyes, carefully not meeting Doc's. He knows what kinda look is probably there. Same one that was on the preacher's creepy as fuck face. Disgust, looking at him like the piece of shit he really is. "Sometimes I wonder if-- I brought it on, you know? If God was trying to punish me and she got caught in the crossfire of it all. Only positive thing is she was gone before things got real bad. 'Course I didn't even have the balls at the time to stick around, put her down when she came back."
And he should have. Fuck, he should have. She deserved the rest. "I'm-- sorry you were on the other side of that, man. I don't know your circumstances, but I can say from being on the other end... sometimes you just don't fucking know how to act. Sometimes you're just scared shitless and trying to be as brave as you can be. Although gotta say, for a dying man... impressive you made it to six hundred. What's your secret?"
He snorts after a moment, rubbing a hand down over his face. "Yeah, I guess that's one way to look at it. You only suffer a little while."